Wisdom for Today

The theme of light and darkness in my life ... has been a constant rhythm. At first I regarded darkness as a menacing chaos which threatened to disintegrate me. The horror of a storm at sea when I first crossed the Channel left me with an especial dread of that devouring Mother. But I have now come to see darkness as that primeval chaos over which the Spirit of God hovers, re-creating me, bringing me to another birth. We have so many small deaths to die. I value my time in darkness, my not knowing, even my pain, as I then simply have to abandon myself to God. So my prayer becomes a little more humble; I stop trying to organize my own life and I rest in him. Often this self-abandonment comes only when I have inwardly shed my tears of anger and limitation and have accepted again that God is greater than I.

Paula Fairlie, osb

from the book "The Monastic Way: Ancient Wisdom for Contemporary Living"