from The 8 Pillars of Joy (from the Dali Lama & Archbishop Tutu)
For one week, the Dali Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu conversed on the subject of attaining joy in a sorrowful world. “Joy is a byproduct of a life well lived. It’s much bigger than happiness.”
Once we attain acceptance of the present, we can release our desire to change the past, as well—through forgiveness. Holding on to grievances is our way of wishing the past could be different. When he hang on to those negative emotions, that anger and grief and the desire for vengeance, we only hurt ourselves. And if we use those emotions to strike back and cause harm, we only invite a cycle of retribution.
Forgiveness does not mean that we forget. “Not reacting with negativity, or giving in to the negative emotions, does not mean that you do not respond to the acts or that you allow yourself to be harmed again,” says the Dali Lama. Justice should still be sought, and the perpetrator, punished. Justice can be served without anger, without hatred, and once it is served, we must let go. Until we forgive a person that has wronged us, we allow that person to hold power over us—they effectively control our emotions. Forgiveness allows past hurts to recede into the distance, where they stop becoming an impediment to a joyful life.
Taken from http://www.beliefnet.com/inspiration/the-eight-pillars-of-joy.aspx
“Forgiving is not forgetting; its actually remembering--remembering and
not using your right to hit back. Its a second chance for a new
beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important.
Especially if you don't want to repeat what happened.”