Apple announced plans on Monday to sue God, citing “intense similarities” between the apple fruit and the company’s trademarked logo.
“We’ve become increasingly aware of the apple’s resemblance to the Apple logo,” a rare statement from Apple explained. “In attempting to locate the fruit’s designer, numerous documents have pointed us to God, so we decided to pursue our legal action in that direction.”
Apple’s new lawsuit comes on the heels of the company’s challenge against Woolworths Supermarkets, also made public on Monday. The grocery chain had recently revealed a new logo featuring a “W” stylized into the shape of an apple — a design Apple once again claims is too similar to its own. In both the argument against Woolworths and the one against God, Apple says the similarities could lead to consumer confusion.
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eSarcasm has learned Apple’s next targets may include the Little Apple Grocery and Deli in Manzanita, Oregon; the St. Peters Episcopal Church Apple Festival in Monroe, Connecticut; and the Hansen Orchards in Grove, Tasmania. The lawsuit against God, not surprisingly, is expected to trump all of those cases in both publicity and potential consequences. Experts expect the battle to reach the “highest courts possible,” though they weren’t completely clear on what exactly that meant.
God was not immediately available to comment on the matter. A spokesperson, however, promised the allegations would be taken seriously — despite, he said, the fact that they came from “an overrated company with one hell of a God complex.”
Read the whole sarcastic article here.
And know we will defend ourselves! :-)
“We’ve become increasingly aware of the apple’s resemblance to the Apple logo,” a rare statement from Apple explained. “In attempting to locate the fruit’s designer, numerous documents have pointed us to God, so we decided to pursue our legal action in that direction.”
Apple’s new lawsuit comes on the heels of the company’s challenge against Woolworths Supermarkets, also made public on Monday. The grocery chain had recently revealed a new logo featuring a “W” stylized into the shape of an apple — a design Apple once again claims is too similar to its own. In both the argument against Woolworths and the one against God, Apple says the similarities could lead to consumer confusion.
...
eSarcasm has learned Apple’s next targets may include the Little Apple Grocery and Deli in Manzanita, Oregon; the St. Peters Episcopal Church Apple Festival in Monroe, Connecticut; and the Hansen Orchards in Grove, Tasmania. The lawsuit against God, not surprisingly, is expected to trump all of those cases in both publicity and potential consequences. Experts expect the battle to reach the “highest courts possible,” though they weren’t completely clear on what exactly that meant.
God was not immediately available to comment on the matter. A spokesperson, however, promised the allegations would be taken seriously — despite, he said, the fact that they came from “an overrated company with one hell of a God complex.”
Read the whole sarcastic article here.
And know we will defend ourselves! :-)
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